Sunday, September 18, 2011

The way I see it

You always want something you can't have. That piece of carrot that dangles in front of you at a distance, elusive and tantalizing. But once they try to shove it in your face, you turn the other way and run like hell.

I don't know what I want, because it seems like I want everything at once, and yet nothing at the same time. I have this image of a perfect guy in my head, and he only exists in a Hollywood movie. He is perfect and I must be a complete moron if I didn't know that no one in the real world is. But still I pit everyone else that I meet against him. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. As if I'm so damn flawless myself.

It's like I have a mind of some puerile princess wannabe, dreaming and waiting for the day her prince charming in shining armour breaks through the door with his white horse. Well it doesn't have to be that way exactly; he could very well be donned in his no.1 with a bouquet of roses in a sexy Audi (Haha I kid). That's not to say that someone who resembles the one in your dreams will never come along. It's just that once this person sweeps you off your feet, he's in the perfect position to drop you on your ass. And he most probably will.

I’m too used to being alone. Happier than ever in my own skin that I’m not sure if anyone’s able to get under it anymore. I have successfully kept my heart shut for so long that it’s almost a reflex: when someone takes one step towards me, I take two steps back. No longer do I understand people who allow themselves to mope around on their single asses. I think being single is another kind of blessing.

Then again this is the 19 years and 9 months old me talking.

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