Sunday, January 30, 2011

Forget the spilt milk.

Friday dinner with Nat at chomp chomp!

New ring again! #25

And this is #26. ^^

Two weeks of school have passed and it was nothing like how I wanted this semester to be.

This year hasn't been good. December ended too soon and then silently came January which didn't even knock. Everything came in a whirlwind, left, and now it is just me picking up the broken shards. Today I stumbled upon a picture that brought back some good memories and it kinda hurt again. I had to force myself. And I've never tried so hard to force (f-o-r-c-e) myself like this. Happiness, hope, change, loss, pain, tears, all in a month. And it's only January. BUT it's only January. No matter how bleak the upcoming months seem right now, I think everything will be fine. Even when it doesn't turn out the way we want it to, it always turns out fine, doesn't it?

January has definitely taught me a thing or two. Talk is cheap. Sometimes words are as light as feathers, so quick, so thoughtless, a beautifully spun cobweb of nothingness. Other times they hold so much weight, they are swung like punches that hit you right in that very spot. Words are afterall, only words. But surprisingly, they still work. And anger? Holding anger is a poison. People say the stupidest things in a moment of anger. And so do I. When anger ceases and you think of what you've said, it will always be the opposite of what you wish you'd said. You can't take words back. Which is precisely why we should always hold our tongues before someone gets hurt.

At the end of the day, no matter how heartbroken or angry you are, it isn't a matter of comprehension anymore. It's forgiveness. And that's one real thing we can offer to the people who matter.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Littlest things

"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t always promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers and you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every good-bye you learn."

— Veronica A. Shoffstall

♥ Morning messages. Waking up and realising I have more time to sleep. Macarons. Sushi. Perfectly painted nails. Tan lines. Laughing hard. Hugs. Curry fries. Smelling good. Guys who smell good. Smiles. Sunshine. Reading good books. Surprises. Topshop. Songs that makes me wanna dance. Htht. Looking good. Old songs. Kitties. Dogs. Sleeping in on a rainy day. Hearing my favourite song on the radio. Being missed. Perfect hair. Putting a smile on someone's face. Wearing cute knickers. Dressed in Topshop from head to toe unintentionally. Chivalry.

I thought my heart died ever since... two days ago. I've been finding all ways to psycho myself every single day and I think I managed to block out most of it, at least. Can't feel as much anymore honestly. And the thing is, when your heart dies, it's such a shame.

But I think my heart aches a little again today. I'm fine. I think. If I can do it once, I can do it again. Right?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Baby, I just wanna dance

Cheryl sipping her hot nutella.

I'm so contented: Cheryl, Topshop, EWF (favv curry fries!!), F21, Love and Other Drugs. Retail therapy works all the time. Fader by The Temper Trap is back on Topshop's playlist and that made me a little happier too. (:

2 more days. Can't. Wait. I'm 45 min late for bed. Goodnight.

"Happy as a clam, is what my mother says for happy. I am happy as a clam: hard-shelled, firmly closed."

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Hold a hand for cover.

Monday after school I met up with 3 of my favourite people!

Please ignore my tired/ swollen eyes, thanks ):


So, I survived school from 0830 to 1700 with just 2.5 hours of sleep. I'm counting down to my 1-week holiday next week! Three. More. Days. That's about the only thing that keeps me going through the week now.

I've been dancing a lot in my room lately. And I was doing my homework and I almost wrote 08A02 beside my name haha. Oh did I mention it feels so good to use the calculator again? For psy207. Kinda miss doing math. Love itttt.

And I really miss canoe trainings back in sajc. ):

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

You swing your words like punches.

My heart aches. My heart aches like fuck. I think if I feel any more than I do right now, my lungs will collapse. I'm sorry for how ugly things have become. I'm sorry for being such a terrible mistake. All I wanted was to talk to you but look at what I've done instead. With me, you've never really lost your cool, but recently I seem to be so damn good at pissing you off. Effortless, all the time. Yknow what hurts? Change.

And I don't care if you're my friend, if you're reading this pls get it into your head. I have no idea what's going on, but please stop talking and spreading nonsense. If you don't know shit about what's happening, I suggest you stfu.

I have work to do. Look at the time. I have lesson at 0830 but I haven't done anything. And I don't want to go to school.

I just wanna curl up and die. I can't take it anymore. I swear.


Monday, January 24, 2011

I talk about you like you put the stars in the sky.

Thank goodness Cheryl asked me out, otherwise I don't know how I'd even survive Saturday night. So Arab street two heavy-hearted souls went.

She loves her new ring.

And so do I! (: It's a little too big for my pinky though.

I'm wearing Benefit full-finish (or silky finish I can't rmb) lipcolor in Shy. Urmmm I used the tester. Haha haven't bought it yet!

We were trying to take a picture of our lashes! Didn't know they were this long haha. They are real by the way. I don't even own any pair of falsies.

I'm apparently quite obsessed with my lashes.

Act cute #1 hahaha.

Act cute #2 \(^o^)/ I'm sorry for the horrible eyebags. Not feeling/looking too good recently. ):

I love you, Cheryl Khin Chan Myaet Soe Lwin! Thanks for spending so much time with me; I really needed it. I'm so sorry if you got scolded by your mum and sorry for your cab fare! :/

I love htht. It feels so good when it isn't one-sided. Moments like these are so precious. Feels as though the weight is being lifted off my chest, even if it's just for a while. And I think hth talks kinda only work at night because that's the period of time when we start pondering about things that really matter. We're too caught up with life during the day that we don't even have the time to pause and think properly.

I love nights like this that turn out unexpectedly good. Sometimes it's amazing because you didn't really expect anything to happen at all. Y'know what's the one wrong thing that we always do?

We expect.

And it just ruins everything.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Dance the way I feel.

After school on Friday I went for a hair cut at Essensuals! Finally, after a year. There's not much difference though. :/ The hair dresser blew curls for me after treatment.

^^ It makes me happy when I realise that I carry Topshop from head to toe unintentionally. On that day I was wearing Topshop's black dress, ballet pumps, knickers (haha) and I was carrying my Topshop bag and the tiny free bottle I got from Knightsbridge (which was confiscated at Zouk later even though it was empty!).


The people at the vintage cafe at Arab street are so friendly! We felt so welcomed. Good food in generous portions. Definitely going back again!



Nat thinks I'm a road hazard because I kept snapping pictures when she was frantically looking for a cab.




It was such an impromptu decision to club. I love being spontaneous! I love having something to do without having it planned beforehand. Like, "Do you want to go __ now??" "OK LET'S GO." Set. Bang. Isn't it exciting?! Love it! I was too full to drink though, which was a good thing. It was the second time I walked into a club feeling completely sober. We danced for 3.5 hours straight and I was really tired after that. And I really hate it when the dancefloor is so packed. :/

So the night wasn't too bad actually. Thanks Nat especially ♥ And it made me fully understand why people like to drink and party away when they're feeling down. For one night you feel like you don't give a damn about anything, you suddenly feel invincible and you say fuck everything. And it isn't because all these music and alcohol keep your mind off things — you simply lose yourself instead. Sad, isn't it?

Okay it's time to sleep. Good morning. My body clock is as screwed as ever. Have a good Sunday. (: